http://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW/

 

 

Yes, someone seriously wrote an erotic fan-fiction digital novella..... about a paperclip.

 

 

 

 

Christie Aackerlund doesn't need help with anything. So when the world's biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she's all like "I'll do it! But the artifact isn't what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape.

 

 

 

I'm afraid, very afraid, but I can't wait to check out the user reviews of this in a few weeks once word starts getting around the internet.

 

 

Oh, there are some rolling in now. Pretty funny actually.

 

 

Clippy taught me to laugh again, to love again. To trust again. I saw myself in the female protagonist with every sensual prod of Clippy's metal nubbin. But it wasn't just about the sex, oh no. It was about the intimate, sacred bond that can literally heal any wounded soul. A sacred bond of man and metal.

The first page was legal mumbo jumbo. It was like the instructions on a box of condoms or the stuff you sign before buying a house: ignored.

The next page was about the author. I mean, sure, it's pretty cool seeing the guy Clippy entrusted with his story. Maybe - probably - Clippy shared a bit more than just a story with this guy, if you know what I mean. Well, of course you know what I mean. Well, in case you don't, I mean that Clippy made his sexy little knock-knock-knock sound (trust me, that knock knock is no joke), said "It looks like you're in need of a deep penetrating Clippy conquest...and even if you're not, I don't care, because you're about to get Clipped," and then proceeded to, you know, conquer him.

Repeatedly.

But I digress. I felt a pang of jealousy, but then scrolled to the next, and final, sample page.

Here is what it said, in its entirety: "*".

Yes, an asterisk. I think it was Clippy saying "here is my tiny steel butt; toss my metallic salad, you loser who won't fork over three bucks to read more."

 

 

 

Hahahaha

http://www.amazon.com/Leonard-Delaney/e/B00E86C4B0/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

So much Clippy and friends.